There have been many excuses as one enters the decade of our 30’s as I have regarding why friends can’t seem to keep in touch:
“I work too much”
“I don’t have time for friends”
“I liked your post/pic on Facebook and wish you happy birthday once a year”
Ummm…I’m calling BULLshit on that. I am a true friend and need loyal girls by my side. Yes, I get it – you’re busy, you have a family, demanding job, etc. etc.
I have been “throwing out” friends who do nothing for me after I have wrangled earth, sun, and moon for them. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Don’t use social media as a crutch! Internet friendships are NOT meant to replace real relationships!
This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting new girlfriends as I showed up only knowing 2 people at my friend’s bachelorette weekend. There was no drama, cattiness, or bickering of any sort. Definitely not what I am used to. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. Maybe I did have too much on my mind previously to make real friendships. But I came away from the weekend a happy girl. I think I am on the way to having more female friends who care about me in my life, and who are worth having around! 🙂
Top five tips for girls in their 30’s to maintain/make new friendships:
1) Don’t try too hard. If it’s too hard to schedule some event with your friends, perhaps they aren’t worth your time. See if they initiate as well. Friendships should be a positive, simple process. You also don’t have to hover around and try to decode every single conversation. Be natural. Don’t set ridiculous standards for your friends; they are human beings just like you after all. Yes, tough to learn this one, but so worth it!
2) Stay positive. Telling some negative stories are okay in the beginning, but if you are perceived as a Debbie Downer, it may not work out in the long run. When in doubt, give compliments upon meeting a new potential galpal. This may be cheesy, but women love to be complimented. Damn, I thought dating was done for me!
3) Be reliable. If you say you want reliable, responsible, honest friends, be that friend to yourself first and model the behavior for others. Don’t flake!!!
4) Take it easy on the alcohol. Once in awhile, throwing caution to the wind is ok, but try to vary the activities so that you’re not just meeting up for drinks with the ladies every time you go out. Your waistline and fashion will also thank you.
5) Make some plans. Take turn being the hostess or coming up with event ideas. Don’t wait for your friends to initiate all of the ideas.
Onwards & upwards,